Saturday, December 26, 2009

A Day of Play

Katie and I spent our day playing with many of our Christmas gifts, eating yummy leftovers, and relaxing.


The moment she woke up, Katie remembered her fire station Lego set and wanted to put it together. She is such a good helper and so dextrous with her fine motor skills. She is really precise, and it was a good time to teach her about how to follow instructional diagrams. She loves playing with the assembled fire station, which came with flame-type pieces. Eventually she put those pieces away, explaining that the flames/fire is too scary. So we play without them. She is such a sweetheart. Building the fire station...


The finished fire station! Legos are so much fun!


We also painted on the easel today. She reports, "I really like these paints!" And earlier she said something about this type of painting being the best type she has tried so far. Amie and Boppa gave her the easel, and they gave her color coded paint jars and paint brushes, just like at a school. She was good about keeping the brushes in their colors---it seemed to be a system she readily understood. The front of the easel is a white board, and we are already having little lessons on it. Ah whiteboards---brings back happy memories of teaching!



Katie tries out her easel for the first time...


The freedom to create and let her mind play...



Katie, the artist hard at work...


Toward the afternoon/evening, we watched Gone With the Wind and played with tinker toys and other toys on the floor. Katie doesn't nap much anymore, and while in the past I have watched Gone With the Wind while she sleeps, today I did indulge myself and managed to still be attentive to my daughter. It helped that for all of the first half, she was asking questions about what was going on and was very interested in the movie---and it gave me the chance to talk about the American south and the Civil War a little.

I always watch Gone With the Wind after Christmas but before New Year's. It's this silly little ritual that is meaningful to me at this time of year and reminds me of who I am and, most importantly, that happiness always follows no matter how bad you feel. When I had my miscarriage a few years ago, I was in a deep, deep funk for some weeks. Reading Gone With the Wind over Christmas break was the start of feeling happiness again. I will never forget losing myself in that novel and letting my mind and heart and body heal. In some ways, that book is more important to me than any other, even longtime favorites like Jane Eyre. After I finished reading it that year, Bill bought me the movie which I had never seen. I had a southern themed birthday party that year with red velvet cake. That was a healing time. In retrospect, the most peculiar thing about it was that, when my Grandma Joan died, my part of the family inherited her Gone With the Wind book. I was not as close to her, and so I never read it and never read it. But at the same time, I also forswore seeing the movie until I read the book. I had so many opportunities to read it for soooo many years and never did---and there it was, waiting for me when I needed it the most. It is strange how that happens.


So we had a relaxing day, which I needed, because I am feeling so tired and still hormonally off kilter. I am trying to ride it out, but it is difficult not feeling totally like my usual self---which is usually full of energy and pretty emotionally balanced. I also get hard on myself for not being able to control these aspects, and by doing that, I compound the problem with guilt. I am trying to remember that I felt similar things in the first couple of months with Katie and that it will pass. I usually feel the worst in the morning and then better as the day goes on, with dusk being a time of relapse, and the night bringing the most peace. I'd so much rather have morning/afternoon/night sickness actually, and get my full energy back. I would make that trade in a heartbeat.

Anyway, I'd better wrap this up! I hope everyone had a great day-after-Christmas!